I didn’t know that I could love someone as much as I love you. I didn’t realize my heart had the capacity to feel this much but, as I sat there watching your face grimace, I hated that I couldn’t take your pain away. I looked at your face, finding pieces of myself but pieces weren’t enough, I wanted to move inside of your skin….. Take on your every burden. Tears pooled in my eyes as I watched, helpless, praying for the right words to ease just a bit of your pain. I felt like Superman, stuck in a jammed phone booth, while watching the world fall apart…If only I could save you. If only love was enough..

 

No longer able to hold back the water in my eyes a steady stream flowed down my face.. Each tear pleading with God, please just let it be me. I wish I could love the pain away, I wish I could hug you so warmly it steals the chill out of this moment. I wish that you didn’t have to go through this but, sometimes the only way to heal fully is to first hurt deeply. Life-saving surgeries requires cuts in our most delicate places.. Even with all of those things said in the stillness of the room I still whisper a prayer, “God let it be over. No more weeping, let it be morning..”

 

Have you ever loved someone so much that you wanted to bear the weight of their world? I want to keep you in the safety of my heart so harm will never find you, pain will never know you, and grief never whispers its name in your ear. I wish I could shield you from the dangers of this world, wish you never had to learn anything the hard way…I wanted to protect the light in you that had guided you this far. The storms of life come with violent winds and unbearable rain but our faith is the candle that illuminates our path…we keep pushing anyway. I found myself determined to shield the flame inside of you, praying that it never flickered or faded…

 

If you’ve ever wanted to leap out of your skin and into the pain-filled shoes of the one you love then you understand my heart when I say those who have to witness your struggle experience their own hurt too.

 

At some point in life we have an opportunity to be on both sides…both a star and an extra on the stage of pain… When you are bearing the pain you have very little time to think about the effect it has on another, all you can focus on is survival.. As a witness, you find yourself helpless..bound by the limitations of humanity you watch on wishing and praying pain away.

 

I scanned the eyes in the room and realized there wasn’t one person in the room who I wouldn’t bear agony for…Love is the thing in you that would rather endure pain than watch someone you love bear it on their own.

 

I wonder if this is how God feels watching us make decisions that pain Him…. I think about my own struggles, the times in my life when God had to cut things away, and I know that regardless of how I was hurt (self inflicted or world afflicted) I may have to be cut even deeper if I ever wanted to be healed.

 

I found God in the midst of my trials, found Him while I witnessed your pain, and His sentiments were the same…. “Trust me….” Incapable of fixing the pain that surrounded me or the trouble that existed inside of me, I handcuffed myself to my faith. Sometimes you have to cup your hand around your flicker of faith, so life’s storms don’t blow it out. Job 5:18 said it best “For He inflicts pain, and gives relief; He wounds, and His hands also heal.

This is for anyone who is watching someone you love in pain…whether they are hurting themselves or God has cut them open so He could heal them, trust that He does nothing in vain. Even in grief there is a lesson.. I will cry these silent tears but I will not wipe them from my face, I will witness every setback and every victory, I will stand by you in life’s hardest times.

 

I know that there will be a day where you lose your way and get lost in all that you still have to accomplish and I will be your eyewitness, reminding you of how far you’ve come…how strong you are…how much courage lives inside of you..and how I watched you evict fear from your heart time after time.. They say the first cut is the deepest because there are some things you go through in life, that once healed you’ll never have to face again. Then I will sit back and trust Him to carry you through…

 

God help us to see that instead of whispering and gossiping sometimes we need to just observe. We need to see Your light shine in the darkest times of other people’s lives. Help us to learn from their lessons, so that we may rest in the fact that if they made it, we can too. Help us be strong enough to recognize our limitations and know that we cannot help someone until You have prepared their heart for us to come in. Give us wisdom so we use a person’s history to remind them where they came from and who they can be, not to curse their tomorrow. Help those in pain remember that the first cut is the deepest.

About The Author

Sarah Jakes

Sarah Jakes oversees the women's ministry at The Potter's House of Dallas, the church led by her parents, Bishop T.D. Jakes and Mrs. Serita Jakes. She regularly blogs at sarahjakes.com and occasionally serves as a TV host on The Potter's Touch.

63 Responses

  1. Jasmine Woods

    Wow!!!! I’m in tears! This hit me like a ton of bricks!!! I needed this!!! Thanks for sharing! Love you!!

    Reply
  2. Michelle Leonard

    This was so right on time. I have watched you grow from a young girl to a beautiful woman. Keep doing what you are doing I am so proud of you. Potter’s House Family for Life.

    Reply
  3. Yvonne

    Wow!!’ when I first started reading, I thought it was an intro to a new book or movie!!! Very good, and the points stated how we shouldn’t gossip, but observe!! Yes, we should. The main point, most of our 1st cuts/lessons, will be the deepest/hardest we have to learn!!
    Very well stated and written Mrs. Henson

    Reply
  4. Moniuqe Murray

    Glory to God once again. Home Run again sis, I needed this as now I am walking with a dear friend down a long dark road within her marriage. We are both trusting that whatever Gods will is during this season that He will give her the strength to endure. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU.

    Reply
  5. brandi

    God is great. That was amazing. I really truly needed that, as I am currently going through such a deep pain in my life that I feel like I’m slowly dying from it. Thank you so much for posting. God know I need to hear as much encouragement as I can.

    Reply
  6. Tanya Farquharson

    So moved and inspired by this. Just the message I needed at this very moment. So grateful for your word and your works and really glad you shared this. You are a God send. Thank you thank you!!!

    Reply
  7. keandra

    I haven’t graced your page in awhile, but like always you were on point! Just a couple weeks ago I was with a friend and she was in soooo much pain, she suffered from sickle cell.. I told her that if I could I would take her place..I hattted so much to see her that way, so on my way home I prayed and asked God to just give her some rest and take her pain away.. And the next day my friend died.. She was only 23, & it still hurts but I know she’s not in any pain anymore.

    Reply
  8. Gina

    You are so blessed by God with an amazing gift of connecting with the everyday person. I pray that you will continue to allow God to use you to speak to people hurts and pains. Your family has that gift as well!! My prayers will be with you as you step out of the boat and walk on water!! Much love to you!!

    Your sister in Christ
    Gina

    Reply
  9. Alesia

    I loved it..could not stop reading it..very well put and definetly some things said that I felt and thought about. This is so well done its was like reading a novel leaving you wanting to read more. I will definetly save this as a favorite. Keep up the good work Sarah. Touched my heart

    Reply
  10. Joanne J. Santana

    I don’t know if this is a current situation, but please know that my prayers are with you. I also wanted to let you know that there is an immeasurable amount of comfort knowing that someone is there supporting you, without prejudice or personal agendas, while you are going through pain or any conflict in life. If that individual doesn’t realize it at that moment, he/she will after the storm breaks and the dust settles. The memory always stays in the back of your mind. It’s always better to face something with someone who loves you than to face it alone. Be blessed!

    Reply
  11. Dalya

    Thank you Sarah! I thank God for the timeliness and relevance of this piece to my current situation. To God be the glory! Peace and many blessings to you!

    Dalya

    Reply
  12. Lisa Johnson

    Wow, I’m amazed that your writings speak to the very issue I or someone I love is going through. GOD is good I say all the time I’m not where I want to be, But incredibly BLESSED that I’m not where I was.
    Thank you for blessing us with your gifts!

    Reply
  13. Cynthia Coventry UK

    As always mrs Henson has delivered, God make u continue to grow in wisdom

    Reply
  14. Ur big brother Maine

    It never fells that ur words not only penetrate my heart, my thoughts, my storms, my fears, and my soul, but it’s always in time u help me to realize that I can and will make it… Thank u!!! So much for listening to God and wriiting all of ur blogs and starting this website!!! I absolutely am proud to b n ur life as ur brother… KEEP DOING U!!! It was worth all ur scars seen and unseen… Love u baby sister!!!!

    Reply
  15. Ann Moore

    This is the most powerful blog you’ve written to date in my opinion. Loved, loved, loved it. It had me in tears. God Bless you Sarah.

    Reply
  16. Valerie Tidwell

    Again Sarah you have written another heart warming and touching blog. This week my friend and nurse mentor was sent home on hospice. I have sat with her over the last few days and watched as life drains from her body, hearing her family say some of the very words you have written in this blog. It’s not an easy thing to see. It’s not easy to wait for that last breath to come. Thank you for posting this blog. God is truely using your gift of writing to encourage and uplift. “Even in grief there is a lesson.. I will cry these silent tears but I will not wipe them from my face, I will witness every setback and every victory, I will stand by you in life’s hardest times.” This is so right in time!

    Reply
  17. Quin

    Thank u so much for this post. I am watching 4 very close family/friends go through things that have figuratively cut their spirits open. Nothing prepares u for the hurt somebody else takes on, and I feel like I have been there and all I want to do is suffer it for them. My prayers for them will continue, to learn to grow and most importantly to lean on Him. Thank u again. :)

    Reply
  18. Latisha Brandon

    Beautifully written, Sarah. The honesty and transparency in your writing is inspiring and easy to relate to. Continue to allow God to use you as His pen to articulate in words what some will never be able yo express.

    Reply
  19. TheresaThomas

    WOW!!! Lord create in me a clean heart Renew a Right Spirit…Talk about GOD’S Devine Intervention in our lives..:this piece rolled in right on time I m feeling the pain of helplessness and guilt.of not handling their pain well…although I know this is a process we all at one time in our lives will have to bear. I pray GOD’S Devine protection and Deliverance over that Loved one who must be cut deeply in order to heal process.

    Thank You Sarah for you transparency…
    GOD BLESS YOU!!!

    Reply
  20. Shirley Standberry

    WOW, WOW, WOW…I’m almost speechless. This has to be of & from God. How else would you know exactly how I feel? You said exactly what I’m feeling but have been unable to voice. Thank you so much for allowing God to use you to reach His people.

    Be blessed.

    Reply
  21. Sylvia Yates

    Thanks for sharing. I’ve noticed that this year God is dealing healing emotions. He is helping us to let go of past and present hurts in order for us to receive His best. Thanks so much for your words of wisdom and comfort

    Reply
  22. EricaW.

    What a powerful word! Thank you for allowing God to speak to me through you!!! Praise God !!

    Reply
  23. Alice Englin

    I truly enjoyed this article. You showed a lot of depth into the psychic of humankind and those who choose to live a godly life. It is painful to watch and sometimes we shouldn’t interfere. God is working! Be there for them not chastening but remembering the great consolation whereby Christ consoled us. Keep up the good work.

    Reply
  24. Tanisha

    I’m in tears, because I’m reading this and for the last 15 months I’ve watched my father in pain, suffering from stage 4 Lung Cancer he just passed away Mar 21 St and buried Mar 27 I’m grieving, and if I could tell you how I really feel we would be talking all night but this was right on time! Bless you!

    Reply
  25. Latrice

    One of the best! I know more is on the way. God has placed such an anointing on you. I look forward to your blogs! They are always encouraging, even if i’m not going through at that moment it helps prepare me an others that I share ur blog with for restoration! Thanks Lady Sarah!

    Reply
  26. Sheila

    Beautifully written! U r a wonderful gift 2 the Body of Christ. Thx 4 sharing your gift with the world!

    Reply
  27. Donna Williams

    This is awesome, it really hit home. Thank you, for letting the Lord use you.

    Reply
  28. Janice

    Thank you, this was a answer to my prayers. I have been praying for a friend for so long asking God each day how can I help her. Now I know just to keep praying until, He prepares her heart for me to come in

    Reply
  29. Gail

    Oh, how true this is………I’ve never thought of it this way….the first cut is the deepest. This is a good title for a sermon. May God continue to use you Sarah and keep you in His grip.

    Reply
  30. Joy

    I truly feel the heart of God. Praying for my dear mother in her golden years, suffering with dementia. Giving her the love that for whatever reason, she was not able to give to me. Thanking God for the capacity he has given me to love unconditionally. This post captures the depths of a loving heart.

    Reply
  31. CheriTawanamygift

    Great writing Sarah. Insipirational and motivational.. Handcuffed to faith going forward!!!God bless you

    Reply
  32. Ashley

    your message has come to me just when i needed it all the way in Kenya.. may God continue to shine his light in you, you are a blessing..

    Reply
  33. Chelle

    Thank you, Sarah, for allowing me to see love in a different light. You are truly anointed and amazing and your words/writing have touched me deeply. Thank you for being such a wonderful blessing, and for the permission to share this article.

    Reply
  34. Pastor Bridget

    WOW Niece I was up late/early praying and thinking about WWW2012 and I realized I hadn’t check your blog lately…I must say I can’t believe I missed this one but I am glad I found it tonight…Your skills still amaze me I am so godly proud of all God is doing in and through your life….Love you dearly keep blessing others with your gift.

    Your #2 Fan and Favorite Aunt

    Reply
  35. MAIGE

    Again you are speaking exactly what is in my heart…God bless you Sarah. Thank you for your courage to speak what is in your heart.

    Reply
  36. Ressurrection

    This is deep.” Sometimes the only way to heal fully is to first hurt deeply.” You are a gifted writer. Keep writing. Peace, Ressurrection

    Reply
  37. Shequila Roberts

    Omg how powerful all I can say is I see yo daddy in your way of talk GOD BLESS! N I’m coming to the ok conference

    Reply
  38. Renee

    May God richly bless you woman of God. You hit it on the head right here. The very last paragraph just sums up what my life has been the past few months. Thank you God. Grace and Peace to you!!

    Reply
  39. Alice

    Really enjoyed reading your article – very touching and thought provoking. Saw you on the Potter’s Touch last week. From a sixty something yr old woman of God, I would like to send you a word of encouragement. You are doing a great job on the Potter’s Touch program. I heard you say that you were nervous, but I was thinking – she’s a natural at doing television and she doesn’t seem nervous at all. It’s obvious that God’s hand is on you. You are a ray of God’s sonshine on the Potter’s Touch. Praying for you. God bless,

    Alice

    Reply
  40. Sheez

    it hurts real deep to watch those you love go thro a path you walked and you’re thinking “didn’t you learn something from my bad choices?” I take comfort in your words that at times rather than whispering and gossiping we just need to sit back and see what God is doing, let His light shine upon those we love. Be blessed

    Reply
  41. Endless Possibilities

    Thank God for blessing you with such a gift of writing. More than that for the gift of reaching thru your writing. I praise God for you and for your ability to share and touch God’s people in this manner. May His blessing be abound in your life, young and beautiful Woman of God. Keep on rising.

    Reply
  42. vintavius cortez brownlee

    i love watching you on the potter’s touch you inspire me to go on in life even when people put me down and i feel like giving up and killing myself sometimes when people talk about me and i get depressed and throw in the towel but when i started watching the potter’s touch everything changed so thank god for your father’s ministries and pray for me my name is vintavius brownlee love u again

    Reply
  43. Hillary Shofner

    All I can say is that you are an amazing writer. I so admire the God in you.

    Father God, please honor and bless Mrs. Henson’s every aspirations and keep speaking to us threw her. In your name I pray, Amen.

    Reply
  44. anitha

    wooow so empowering wordz n s gud t put yhslf n atha peiples shoes i rememba tht i once dd it fr a frend n it was hard bt u fnd peace wthin
    yhself.

    Reply
  45. Joy

    Lifts my spirits everytime i read it.THANK YOU SARAH YOU SUCH A BLESSING

    Reply
  46. Chrys

    I am artist myself but today you painted a picture with the canvas of your words. So wonderfully stated!

    Reply
  47. Nykyta Daley

    This really touches me as many of your blogs do, thank you so much for your inspiring and heart filled and felt words.
    Please keep myself,family,children and husband in your prayers its needed!!!!!

    P.s u wouldnt mind a chat ive always longed for one with you.

    Love nykyta xxx

    Reply

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