Keeping a wound clean from the inside out promotes healing in layers. This allows new, healthy tissue to grow in the depths of the wound and prevents top layers from forming too soon and trapping dead or dying tissue, or infection in the wound.*

I’ve messed up so bad there should have been no way to recover. Made my life ten times harder than it ever had to be. Have you ever just messed up? I mean so bad even you wanted to disown you. Start a new life, somewhere where that mistake was a memory from a wild and crazy dream. I disappointed myself, couldn’t bear to think that the person who I was staring at in the mirror even did something like that. I apologized to anyone I hurt but if I couldn’t forgive me, my apology must have sounded like a joke on their ears.

I set out on a mission to separate myself so far from the person who made those choices that they’d look like strangers on paper. I decided I would heal from the outside in. So I formed a new layer, formed a new me. It wasn’t too long after beginning my journey of distancing myself that I realized I was running on a track, I was going to run right into the person I was running from, me. It would not be possible for me to move forward until I became okay with who I am, what I’ve done, and where I was headed. I had all these layers but the infection of what I did was trapped inside of me.

As a Christian, I have to believe that the most powerful ways to demonstrate forgiveness is starting with self. How do you ask yourself for forgiveness? Give yourself a license to mess up, start over, and build again? We have the tendency to not allow people to mess up. If you have x amount of dollars, y best sellers, and z amount of endorsements you shouldn’t do anything that messes yourself up. You should have enough respect for yourself that you refuse to mess up. Albeit that may be true every now and then, even the most fortunate people have hurt themselves.

The truth is there are times when we stumble on rocks, an unleveled street, or some other obstacle laying in our path but there are times when you flat out trip over your own two feet. Does it make the stumble any less painful when you cause it yourself? You can be just as dangerous to yourself as any outside interference. Your challenge will be learning to forgive yourself. You cannot accept the forgiveness of others, until you are able to forgive yourself. If you can’t prove to yourself, that you are better than your mistakes, better than the past that you created, how will I believe it?

Our deepest wounds do not heal from the outside in; they heal from the inside out. You cannot fix what you have done, until you fix the person who has done it. I don’t know what you did, or who you may have hurt but know that the beginning of their healing starts within you.

Forgiving yourself is the true essence of getting back up again, not just resuming as if it never happened, but rather acknowledging what happened and deciding, you will not continue to be your own roadblock. I forgave myself so that I could breathe, so that I could take myself off the clearance rack and back to where I belong.

Did you just move on like nothing happened? Never completely clean your self-inflicted wound? Do not rush the process by moving on too rapidly, you only have one true life to live and you cannot choose to let the infection of your past be trapped under the new layer of who you are. Face yourself, face the person that hurt themselves and those around them, do not run or hide from that person…Look yourself in the eyes and say if I can be the cause of my infection, I will be the supplier of my antibiotic. I messed up and I will not continue to walk around this world without first cleaning my wounds.

God touch those broken places in me; help me to forgive myself, to love myself again. All I want is to see myself the way You see me. No one but You can help me through this. Actively tell yourself that you are better than the poor decisions you made, more precious than any jewel that has ever been discovered, and more beautiful than the world can handle. Don’t believe it just yet? That’s okay, fake it until you make it.

When God delivers a person he starts with their mind. You are whatever you THINK you are, if you think you will lose, you have already lost. If you think you ruined your life, your life has been ruined, you think your marriage is over, you might as well file for divorce…but if you should ever start thinking that you are fearfully and wonderfully made, that you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you, or start thinking that you are more than a conqueror…You can hush the whispers of the haters, shut the mouths of the skeptics, and show your supporters they were right. I THINK I will be the next big thing in writing. What are you thinking?

Sources:

Why Do We Clean a Wound Inside Out? | eHow.com http://www.ehow.com/facts_5538697_do-clean-wound-inside-out.html#ixzz1UVS8zY9m

About The Author

Sarah Jakes

Sarah Jakes oversees the women's ministry at The Potter's House of Dallas, the church led by her parents, Bishop T.D. Jakes and Mrs. Serita Jakes. She regularly blogs at sarahjakes.com and occasionally serves as a TV host on The Potter's Touch.

14 Responses

  1. Abbigail Liverpool (@Rhujeth)

    You have blessed me so much with your writings, it isn’t funny. Thanks for obeying that call to write, you are helping many to heal and see Christ.
    Yes! You will be the next BIG thing in writing.

    Reply
  2. suni

    Thank you for that… *sighs* You just spoke to me on so many levels..as usual:).. But really.. I feel so lost, so out of touch with who I use to be because of what I’ve gone through. I’ve done, and still doing things that I probably should not be doing, but I have no control over it, and I can’t pray to God about it…so I’m stuck it seems. But I will try forgiving myself thing first and see what happens..

    Reply
  3. Alita Bruce

    God bless you! Yes, you will be the next big thing in writing. :o)
    Hmmmmmmm…I think I’m going to be the next big motivator, coach, mentor, writer.

    Reply
  4. sissandra3

    I am thinking that you are devolping into a multitalented Proverbs 21 woman. I am not sure who to compare you with since I am not fimiliar with ANY other African American female writer that is around your year of birth so I am thinking YOU are it. (regarding your statement of next best…)Again your literary style is nothing short of real and on point as well prophetic. I have just finished a series of penicillin.I recieved a splinter in my finger and thought that I had removed it all but evidently I didn’t. I noticed my poor finger speaking to me but I kept ignoring it until one day I woke up and it was screaming so loudly everybody around me heard it. In stead of going right away to the doctor I let a bunch of silly people touch it,tell me a zillion things that I should do,my sgt.even squeezed it trying to burst it to relieve the pressure. Within minutes a medic was called and I was hurried away to medical. I am looking at my finger now and I am amazed at how beautifully it has healed I almost need a magnifying glass to find it. Without the antibiotic.. fooling with all the quack medic’s I probably would have 3 fingers and a thumb on my right hand but thank GOD for healing from the inside out. “FORGIVENESS” is one heck of a antibiotic lady it truly is.God bless your♥♥♥

    Reply
  5. Kenya

    I THINK I will be the next big thing in writing… I think you are wrong! You’re already the next big thing in writing your next is NOW! Sarah, please allow me to reiterate what I tweeted to you last night. The young lady I sent to read your blogs last night is struggling to exist. The circumstances, and situations of life literally have destroyed her ability to value her worth. After I finished listening to her I wanted her to have something tangible and unyielding to consistently hold on to in order to demonstrate survival is possible “your heart” blogs came to mind. I am in tears… Thank you!

    Reply
  6. Pam

    Wonderful insight, what a blessing you have been to me. I pray that you continue to bless us with your blog. Much peace to you…..

    Reply
  7. Nini

    think I wil be a great wife mother 2 my children. very inspiring piece, remain blessed

    Reply
  8. Betty20

    This is great Sarah. I prophecy that you’ll be a great author!!!
    God bless you for inspiring me :-)

    Reply
  9. Tootie

    You know just what to say. I enjoy your wisdom just know you have made me realize what I need to put in prospected in my life.

    Reply
  10. Amber Etheridge

    I love this, in fact I thought of changing the theme of our church’s women’s conference this year from “Inside Out” b/c it wasn’t fancy and deep but it was what God gave me….thanks for confirmation.

    Reply
  11. sandile ntombela

    Forgiveness: is taking ur power back. I’m going thru a lot , where I’ve been and where I am. It’s may not be my fault how I was brought up by society but it’s my life I am responsible for it. Whatever happened I own it coz it’s happened to me. I choose how I respond to it. I’m not a victim never was. I’m standing tall proud as ever and Gratful that’s God is on my side. Sydney Potier said ” I’ll defend myself by improving myself” Measures of a Man and I always say I’ll forgiving myself by improving myself. Self forgiveness is the ultimate key. I must say right now I’m surviving one day I’ll make it
    Till we meet.

    Reply
  12. Whitney

    This post just blessed my life!!! I was recently in a situation with my best friend and I did something that hurt her deeply she had forgave me but
    I am still struggling in forgiving myself because of how much I hurt her she has told me that I need to forgive myself so we both can move forward from it cause honestly I miss my best friend and I want our friendship to continue to prosper. Its a process but I’m willing to do whatever it takes to get back on the right track again witj myself thank you for being so transparent you’re awesome!!! God bless!!!

    Reply

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