There she stood in the middle of Home Depot wondering which nail she needed to hang her favorite picture when she burst into tears. It had been over a month since he walked out on her and she couldn’t believe this was her life. Tears streaming down her face she grabbed a box with multiple sizes and proceeded to check out. On her way home she stopped and got her tires checked, the indication light was on, she then loaded the kids into the car and thought about which meal she would prepare.

I wonder if the kids notice I’m struggling. Can they hear the pain in my voice? I wonder if they really miss him, long for the sound of his voice. Fed, bathed, and put to bed, she walked into her room. Took a quick glance at his unmade side of the bed and ran a warm bubble bath. I’m not moving on, I’m just watching this movie they call my life, she thought.

Tired from another full day, laying in bed, rubbing circles in her tired feet. She lays down and let her tears give her the sole warmth for the night. Next week the lawnmower broke halfway through finishing the yard, she remembered seeing him fiddle with the cord while pressing the ignition and instantly it came on. She finished the yard not thinking much of what happened, just doing what needed to be done.

That next night she did her same routine, ran her bubble bath, rubbed her own feet but this time she untucked the other side of the bed. I think I’ll stretch out and sleep like a kid.

That next Sunday she was standing in church. The Pastor asked how she was coping from the disease of divorce. She hung her head and told him she was broken, that she couldn’t move on. He grabbed her by the chin and looked her in the eye, “Didn’t I see you mowing the lawn last week when I drove by? As a matter of fact, Deacon Edwards told me he saw you in the tire shop the other day taking care of your car.”

In that moment she looked up and realized her mistake. I’ve been waiting for a feeling when all of this will be okay. Been waiting for a day when I wake up and don’t feel this sense of loss….I didn’t realize that I was capable of taking care of myself. Didn’t realize the strength I have within. Sure it would be nice to have an extra set of hands but my hands work just fine when they’re in demand.

You only felt like you couldn’t move on, you didn’t realize you had already moved. You thought you couldn’t survive without him but look at you, standing there taking care of you. Sure you cried some tears but you didn’t get stuck. Quit telling yourself you aren’t enough…. Realize that when push came to shove you gathered your strength and pushed back.

Do not let unexpected tragedies make you press pause on your life. Dig deep down in your heart and find your strength. Tell yourself you can make it, tell yourself you can handle your business…don’t speak negatively about yourself…this break up, will not break you. You can make it on your own, love someone but be careful to not diminish your own worth for the sake of another.

I don’t know why this happened to you… I know when you entered into it, all you wanted was forever. Life doesn’t always go the way we think it will..sometimes it gives us more than we think we can bare…but look around recognize you’re STILL here. Your heart is still beating and your lips curve into the perfect smile.

About The Author

Sarah Jakes

Sarah Jakes oversees the women's ministry at The Potter's House of Dallas, the church led by her parents, Bishop T.D. Jakes and Mrs. Serita Jakes. She regularly blogs at sarahjakes.com and occasionally serves as a TV host on The Potter's Touch.

11 Responses

  1. Butterfly Advisor

    Again, I can’t say nothing but keep them coming Sarah! You have a creative mind that catches the reader from the very first word! LOVE IT! Can’t wait till I read the next one!

    Reply
  2. amber

    I swear I read your blogs everyday but this one is different. It’s personal, and its my life. Words of encouragement seem to always flow from you as if God has given you insight on the things people struggle with on a daily basis. He has given you a gift and allowed you to be His voice for those who feel like sometimes He’s not listening. But He is listening and its His “still small voice” that is projected through each and every word you write. I’m so glad you’ve allowed Him to use you to reach the masses. Keep it up, the world is anxiously awaiting to hear all that you have to say.

    Reply
  3. Alex

    Congratulations!!
    As it is written –
    “For the LORD God of Israel says
    That He hates divorce,
    For it covers one’s garment with violence,””
    /Malachi 2:16/
    this one calls for a pre-engagement and marriage-preparation blog.
    Keep it up!

    Reply
  4. AnnetteNsubuga

    like someone told me “even if everything is crumbling, if you hold on long enough you will make it through the day, after all each day has 24hrs”.
    It is ok to cry, it is ok to get overwhelmed… do what must be done today, today. The rest can be done tomorrow

    Reply
  5. Faith

    Sarah this is yet another beautiful msg. Keep them comin and be blessed. I always look forward to your blogs…. Thank u ma’am!!

    Reply
  6. Sherry

    You don’t know how much this touched me. I’ve been divorced 2 years, thank God no kids were involved. I remember the days of feeling broken and lost. I was left with a pile of bills, an empty house, and a broken heart.

    I leaned on God, but the bills kept coming, I couldn’t afford to pay for the lawn service any more. So I got up at 6 am pulled out the mower collecting dust and set out to mow the yard.

    My house on this HUGE hill wasn’t quaint and beautiful anymore because I was going to have to mow this lawn ALONE. But I did it!!

    I broke down and cried when I finished. Not because I was exhausted, or lonely, I cried because I saw how God really gave me the strength to climb mountains, and beat any obstacle in my path!

    Your words are beautiful! Thank you.

    Reply
  7. Elaine Wright

    Thank you for such healing words. People need to know that they are not alone and that their situation is not new under the sun.
    The ability to speak to the hearts of others must be preceeded by the time, patience,compassion and discernment to listen to the cries of the hearts. Only then can the Holy Spirit give you the words “fresh from heaven” to heal and soothe the hurting souls.
    Thanks you for opening my eyes to the diversity of ministry for such a time as this.
    God Bless you for your labor of love,
    Mama Elaine

    Reply

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